12/6/2024
Building People of Substance for Works of Power
It is not an enemy who taunts me—I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me—I could have hidden from them. Instead, it is you—my equal, my companion and close friend. What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.
Psalms 55:12-14 NLT
“Betrayal hurts.” That was one person’s brief summary of a discussion I was having with several pastors. We were talking about what advice people would have liked to have had when they first started out in ministry. Just two things were brought up. The first and most common issue we discussed was that many of our problems and difficulties originate from people in the church, often those who are closest to us. The second thing that came up was the importance and difficulty of taking care of ourselves—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I think they’re connected.
We encountered church-induced pain early in our first pastoral effort. The process of choosing a new pastor had apparently been difficult for the congregation. Opinions were still divided. One day after service I found my wife crying in the office. “What’s wrong?” I asked. She recounted a conversation with one of our prominent members who had informed her that, “this church used to be really great until the devil (meaning me) got here”. OK, the bubble had officially burst. This was going to be tough.
We resigned from that church after little more than a year. I threw in the towel. Ministry was too painful. I could no longer watch my wife struggle to hold back the tears. I was exhausted from lying awake at night, replaying the harsh comments and feeling like I’d failed completely. We headed back to Tulsa where I knew I could get a job in my old field and be appreciated while being of service to others. God miraculously put us back together, and barely a year later we were on our way to New York to help a church get started. We have been at it ever since.
People haven’t changed, but I hope I have. In the process I have learned a few things that help me deal with people problems. Maybe they can help you:
- The people don’t belong to me. They belong to God. I work for Him. He is my boss and my source. Some people will need to go in order to grow. Let them. 1 Peter 5:1-4
- I am only human, after all. I will fail. It’s OK. Repent, ask forgiveness and learn from your flop. Romans 7:15-18
- I am not able to do the job. Period. Full stop. If God doesn’t take care of it, then it will fail. Not my problem. I work hard, He gives me the strength. Results are His responsibility. 1 Corinthians 15:10
- I can’t be effective when I preach out of hurt and bitterness. I have to forgive even the most egregious attacks. I can’t let my wounds poison the flock.1 Peter 2:19-23
- Keeping a clean heart is very difficult and absolutely necessary. You will need someone safe to talk to, and lots of time to pray. Proverbs 27:6, 9, 17
Here’s the point: All these things are true for every believer. We’re all supposed to live free of bitterness, keep our tongue under control, and trust God for grace and provision. For pastors, however, there are three things they don’t often tell you in bible school. First, you are just a human and have no special grace to live the Christian life. Second, because you are a shepherd, you are a target of the enemy. He wants to scatter the flock. (Matthew 26:31) Finally, because the sheep are human, many will have unreasonable expectations and twisted human motives. Each one will have a back story that colors their response to you. Empathy helps, but you can’t please them all. Don’t try.
Good advice: One of my favorite instructors in bible school said the secret of pastoring is simply this: “Preach the Word, love the people.” I recently heard an elderly pastor, when asked what he would tell a young preacher just starting out, reply, “Know your bible and pray a lot.” I think we could combine the two into one great commandment: “Pray without ceasing, preach the Word, and love the people.” Success is obedience to the call, faithfulness, and striving to excel in the grace He gave you.
Pastor Virgil
3141 W. Ironwood Hill Dr.
Tucson, AZ 85741
pastorvirgil.com 
Good stuff Pastor Virgil.